


Release

by AHM1121



Category: Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: After care, Anxiety Disorder, Army Steve Rogers, Bottom!Bucky, Collars, Consent, Dirty Talk, Dom!Steve, Dom/sub, Fluff, Like very dirty talk, M/M, Mentions of past trauma (brief), Not Canon Compliant, PWP, Porn with possible plot, Sub contracts, Sub!Bucky, Tattoo Artist Bucky Barnes, top!steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-21 06:16:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14909942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHM1121/pseuds/AHM1121
Summary: Bucky just wants to be controlled. Steve just wants someone to control. What more could two sexually deprived people ask for?! The answer: Dirty talk, tattoos, dancing, conflict, fluff and more.





	1. Breath

He knew “something”would happen tonight. There was a spice in the air, cinnamon mixed with the deep scent of man, he could practically taste it. Bucky didn’t know just how much that smell would mean to him by the end of the night, how savory that taste would be, but the one thing he did know right then and there, was that he would chase that scent wherever it may lead. The smell reminded him of something... something calm, and controlled, not typically what you would expect from a seemingly chaotic sea of people. He looked through the club, typical with the loud bass and writhing bodies. The sex practically cast a haze above the giant crowd. Hands and bodies combined moving in tangent with the sounds being blasted though the speakers all over. It was a beautiful abyss of noise that could potentially cast away any thoughts with its loud bass and drops, giving the invitation to forget ones self. Even if for one night. 

Bucky wasn’t particularly looking for a dom, he wasn’t looking for someone, he wasn’t really looking for anything. He just had to get away from the noise of his brain, from the thoughts that he hadn’t been controlled in so long, let alone hadn’t been in control in ages. The thoughts crowding his head were troubling; dark thoughts that twisted and writhed, not in the beautiful ways of people on dance floors, but in the way of snakes eating mice. Choking him until it was hard to stay awake in the real world. He refused to ever go back to panic attacks, refused to let his mind’s obsession with his past control him. He didn’t need meds, he knew that much. He needed someone to control him so he could control “it”. But was it worth it? He didn’t know, therefore he resigned himself to numbing the anxious thoughts with alcohol and endorphins from dancing with faceless strangers. 

“Shot of vodka” Bucky announced/mouthed as he finally made eye contact with the bartender, who leaned her head in as he spoke. He downed it easily, holding his finger up to signal one more. The cinnamon smell was making Bucky suddenly very aware. Surrounding him, enveloping, God that smell made him miss something, made him nostalgic for a memory.

“Double tequila” announced a deep voice behind Bucky, making him jolt from his thoughts. He turned around to peer behind him. The man was brilliant. There was no other word for him. He was easily 6’3, blonde hair slicked a little with sweat, and eye lashes for days. Bucky didn’t even have time to get to fully stare at him before the stranger put a hand on his left shoulder, making Bucky flinch again at the contact. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you” the man said leaning in close due to the volume but voice still booming. Something turned over in Bucky’s chest at the proximity, curiosity some how made him put his guard up. Or maybe it was the anxiety. “No worries, just didn’t expect anyone to be loud enough to be heard in here,” Bucky practically shouted back “you can have my spot” he ended, downing his second shot and making his way towards to the dance floor, not noticing the man’s gaze.

It was wonderful what could happen once a person got lost in the throng of bodies. The unspoken rule of touch and be touched as willing as you pleased. Hands pressing everywhere, asses grinding, fingers threading through hair. It was a release from his crowded brain. Bucky was thankful to finally breath as the music filled his body, the bass beating so loudly that he could feel it in his chest. Lost in a space where there was no thought, no need for worry or anxious “what if’s” he didn’t realize the blue eyes tracking him on the floor. Watching when Bucky’s fully tattooed arm raised above his head and through his hair as his hips swayed from side to side, grinding on a girl behind him without thought of who or what was around him. 

Standing up from his seat at the bar, Steve could swear the degrees were slowly climbing in the club as this man swayed and pulsed with the music. Steve instantly wanted to know him, taste him, to bury himself deep and never come up for air. He contemplated ordering another shot for courage, it had been a while since he put himself out there. Thoughts ran rampant in his mind “what if the man rejected him?” “what if he’s not even gay?” “what if he doesn’t even know what the word kink means?!”. Steve shook his head, Jesus he didn’t even know his name. 

Steve noticed the gray eyes were half lidded as the song changed, morphing into a sensuous melody that obviously pleased the man as he started smiling and throwing his head back. It took Steve a second to realize he was stopped halfway between the dance floor and the bar, staring at the man and his gorgeous smile. Steve knew he was in trouble. Finally, he remember what it was like to walk again as he waded through the tangle of bodies and tentatively reached out a hand, before he could touch him, the man’s eyes flew open. Smiling and startled the dancing man tried to scream/mouth “hi, you again”, Steve smiled in return “me, it’s almost like you knew I was here”, blushing he leaned in close to Steve “it’s your smell”. Horrified Steve quickly backed away, thinking the worst, Bucky laughed and quickly reached for his forearm anchoring himself and pulling Steve in putting his mouth next to his ear “No, no it’s not bad, it’s nice! I noticed it earlier”. Steve blushed “oh... oh! Thank you!”. Noticing his hand was still on the stranger’s arm, and being pushed slowly closer to each other due to the pulsating crowd, he smiled and said in the man’s ear “I’m Bucky, Bucky Barnes”, smiling the man leaned in “I’m Steve, Steve Rogers”, Bucky sent him another dazzling smile. Thrown off a little by it, Steve took a chance put a hand on Bucky’s hip and leaned in again, cheeks going slightly pink as he asked “do you mind if I dance with you?” God there was that smile again, he thought, as Bucky practically beamed and leaned in “Wow, a man who asks for consent right of the bat is a man after my own heart”. 

At that he turned and pressed his back against Steve’s torso, taking in a deep breath as another song began to fade in. Bucky found his hips easily swaying into Steve’s, provocatively edging his ass along where he knew Steve’s cock was slowly hardening. Bucky smiled to himself, as his left hand rose again and reached to wrap behind him on the back of Steve’s neck. He heard Steve gasp in his ear as the cold seeped into his hot neck, registering the Stark prosthetic with a smile, he made no other indication, but instead wrapped his left arm around Bucky’s waist and began to grind against him in earnest. Bucky felt the way Steve’s breath was ragged in his ear. It was coming in sharp huffs that made Bucky arch even harder into Steve, the stimulation from his breath making Bucky suddenly aware of his semi-hard dick.

Bucky turned in Steve’s arms, blue eyes met gray as he smiled deviously up at the man. “I would love to know what else these hands were able to do” he leaned in and told Steve, hoping to get a feel for Steve’s desires. Steve smiled almost shyly “I don’t know if you would like what my hands were capable of doing”, Bucky still swaying smiled “Really? I think you would be surprised at what I can handle” Steve leaned in “Do you want an idea, I have to know that I won’t scare you off” Bucky felt his chest tighten in anticipation, with his head touching the side of Steve’s he nodded and said a soft “try me”. Steve smiled and sent up a silent prayer, “I want you to kneel, beg, and plead. I want to keep you in the edge for so long you’re crying to have my cock in you. I want to have all of you. I want to get you as close to the edge without breaking, I want to fuck you senseless and make you mine.” In the time it took Bucky to process what Steve had said, while practically trying not to cum in his pants, Steve smiled and added a quick shy “with your consent of course”.

Bucky didn’t realize his response time had lapsed until it dawned on him that he had stopped dancing and was staring at Steve, mouth slightly open. Steve blushed, and stammered “Listen it’s okay, I completely understand if you’re not looking for...” “Yes!” Bucky practically shouted. Steve smiled brilliantly and leaned in close to Bucky, making a point to place a hand in his hip and hold him close “do you maybe want to get out of here, I feel like we have some things to talk about?” Bucky nodded staring up at Steve, “but first...” Steve added as he bent down lips close to Bucky’s. Steve’s heart pounded as he left space between him and Bucky. 

He knew that this would be just the beginning, he had enough experience to know when a moment needed to be drunk in, observed and devoured. He waited one more breath making sure to stare into Bucky’s half lidded eyes, waiting for what they both knew he needed. With a slight nod from Bucky, a sigh of relief escaped Steve as he crushed his mouth to the man’s. Absorbing Bucky’s moan, Steve knew he couldn’t wait to have him screaming his name. Bucky’s hands flew into the golden hair, as his hips had to fight the temptation to grind. Pulling back and panting, Bucky whined as Steve grabbed his hands, and said “So how do you feel about midnight coffee?” 

End chapter.


	2. Coffee and Consent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s totes normal to discuss kink over a hot cup of coffee right? (more smut to follow)

Leaving the club was like going through sensory deprivation. The loud booming bass replaced suddenly by the brisk quiet New York city street. Bucky was shrugging on his coat as Steve held open the door to the club for him. The realization that apart from people milling down the streets, they were finally able to fully take each other in. 

Bucky noticing Steve’s stare smiled up at him, slightly nervous but still feeling the adrenaline pulsing through him, smiled and reached for Steve’s left hand. “There’s a great 24 hour coffee shop a few blocks away, want to head that way?” Steve smiled at the contact feeling reassured. As they walked Steve took in Bucky’s relaxed shoulders and how his hair was pulled into a half bun, he hadn’t noticed before, it took a second to realize that Bucky was talking to him and had paused for answer, glancing his way in expectancy. 

“Oh umm, sorry I missed that.” Steve stammered. 

Laughing Bucky tugged Steve’s hand   
“I asked, do you often pick up guys late at night by whispering delicious sweet nothings in their ears? I’m not judging, just innately curious” 

Smiling Steve said “Ah, no you’re actually the first in a long time. I’ve been kind of off the scene for a while.” 

Bucky frowned, “Bad break up?” 

“Something like that” Steve shrugged. 

Bucky didn’t press him. He was reveling in the light feeling that he rarely got to enjoy. Endorphins, no crushing anxiety, no lingering “what ifs”, just possibilities and arousal. 

Bucky enjoyed the way Steve was watching him, he enjoyed the glint in his eye and the feel of Steve’s calloused hand in his. He sent another smile at Steve, as they approached the coffee shop. Then went with his gut feeling and pulled Steve towards him catching his lips, and letting out another hungry moan. Steve grabbed on like a drowning man; holding Bucky’s hips and letting slip one slow grind of his own. The sound that slipped out of Bucky’s mouth was insatiable. Steve broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against Bucky’s, realizing he had backed him against a store front wall. “Jesus, already you’re under my skin”. Bucky smiled “I can be under you right now and completely skip coffee”. Steve bit his lip at the thought “While the offer is tempting, and dear God am I tempted, I have to know where you’re at and know your....boundaries. I can’t do this without them Buck.” Bucky smiled at the nick name that seemed to come easily to Steve and nodded. 

Settling in to the cozy setting with warm coffees (Bucky’s as pale as possible with what looked to be a half cup of sugar in it, Steve’s left rich and black) Bucky looked at Steve as he relaxed into the squishy couch. Steve was still brilliant in the warm coffee shop light. Steve’s shoulders seemed impossibly broad when compared to his tiny waist, and legs that went on for days, and good Lord those eye lashes. Bucky found himself enamored with the fact that this stranger, who didn’t feel like a stranger, caused such a stir for him. 

Steve smiled at Bucky, “So, am I right in assuming you know something about the kink community?”

‘Woah straight to the point’ Bucky thought before answering, “Ah, yeah, I’ve been a sub for a few years off and on with different doms, it’s been.... helpful...” he trailed off. 

Steve frowned questioningly. “I have generalized anxiety disorder, being a sub helps me be in control again, controlling scenes, having the ability to stop things alleviates my anxiety for at least a little bit, but it also pushes me to accept things that aren’t always planned out ” Bucky explained. 

Steve nodded along as Bucky explained. Taking in Bucky’s honesty he felt closer to him, was it possible for a stranger to feel like a friend in just a matter of hours? The conversation continued, Steve found himself laughing as Bucky recalled his first scene, and how he had underestimated hot wax and chest hair. Bucky was entranced, watching Steve laugh, finding it endearing the way he would throw his head back and grab his left pec. The discussion carried on as they divulged scenes and experiences that crossed lines, the hard limits they had discovered and the willingness to try new things. As the discussion turned (probably around the time Steve stated that he had a fondness for nipple clamps) Bucky made a point to catch Steve’s chin in his hand drawing him close and whispering his lips in a light brush against Steve’s. 

“Do you maybe want to take this back to my place?” he asked, nipping Steves full bottom lip, enjoying the rush of breath in response. 

After Steve crushed his mouth to Bucky’s, he answered “if you’re comfortable actually, can we take it to mine? I have my gear for scenes there, unless you’re more comfortable at your place” he ended apprehensively. Bucky smiled at the thought of seeing where Steve lived, and then felt himself harden at the idea of Steve’s bed, Steve’s toys, Steve. He shivered and nodded nipping Steve’s bottom lip one more time, jumping up from the couch pulling Steve with him as he headed towards the door. 

As they waited for their cab, Steve made a point of standing behind Bucky, and slowly pushing his hands, chilled by the night, under Bucky’s shirt. Bucky shivered and pressed back against him, leaning his head back against Steve’s shoulder, he nuzzled into his neck and nipping up to the sensitive skin under his ear. Steve growled in response and tightened his hands. Bucky could feel Steve’s hands move up slowly reaching his nipples and flicking and tugging then releasing quickly send quick jolts of pleasure through Bucky before bringing his hands back to his hips.   
“Safe word?” he growled   
Bucky sighed at the sensation. “Longing”.  
As the cab pulled up Steve released Bucky and opened the passenger door for him, murmuring his address to the driver, he sat back and prepared himself for what was to come next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one down! More pwp soooooon. I truly feel like I have no idea what I’m doing, please leave comments, and/or positive feedback if you feel so inclined.  
> ^.^


	3. All Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finally arriving at Steve’s apartment, Bucky learns just how good Steve is with words.

Steve’s apartment was surprisingly busy for being 3 o’clock in the morning. As Steve and Bucky stepped on to the elevator a small string of tension began to arise.

“Floor?” another passenger asked.  
Without looking away from Bucky’s gray eyes, Steve answered “10th”.  
Bucky continued to peer at Steve, eyes wide cheeks flushed hands pressing into his own thighs to keep from pulling Steve into him right in front of everyone. He could feel the sense of urgency rise in him, swelling and taking over. 2 minutes easily felt like an eternity as passengers got off at various floors. On the 9th floor the final passenger got off. Eyeing Steve and Bucky, catching on to the silence and tension that had not dissipated over the course of the ride.

As the door closed Steve surprised Bucky by simply standing next to him. Leaving inches between them filled with electricity and need. Bucky whined at the lack of contact, a seemingly involuntary response that he would have been embarrassed about if he wasn’t so filled with need, he could see Steve smirk, and wondered where his self control was hiding. When the elevator opened Bucky let out a sigh, of relief or possible frustration Steve wasn’t quite sure.

Smiling Steve got off the elevator without a glance back, relying on Bucky to follow without cue. Walking down to Steve’s door Steve dug out his keys. Hearing the lock click back, he turned to Bucky before opening it. Holding him with his intense gaze and a face carved by God himself, he took Bucky’s chin between his thumb and forefinger. Tilting it up he made steady eye contact and a look of confirmation he hadn’t quite worn all night was in place.

  
“Color?” Steve asked,his tone firm and eyes searching Bucky’s, checking for any signs of apprehension. “Green” Bucky breathed. “Good boy” Steve stated turning to open the door. Bucky blushed and could feel his cock begin to stir at the praise. As he walked into Steve’s home he peered around and saw a tidy and homey living room and kitchen, decked out with open industrial style shelving, exposed brick, littered with books, pictures, hand sketches, and necessities. Bucky’s attention was drawn back to Steve whose eyes were fixated solely on Bucky. Bucky turned pink at being caught staring.

“Sorry...” he said, finally feeling the beginning edges of nerves dance along his skin.

“First rule, don’t apologize unless you break a rule, and even then your punishment will make up for it”

Bucky swallowed again “sor.... Okay” Bucky stuttered, making Steve smirk “Good boy, are you ready? Remember at any time if I do anything you don’t want, just use your safe word”.

Bucky smiled and started to walk closer to Steve. Steve smiled and closed the gap, kissing Bucky long and slow at first, taking inventory of how Bucky’s shoulders were slightly tensed and how he was practically radiating anticipation. Smiling to himself, feeling his control coming into place Steve knew he had to make Bucky feel good, to give him something that would not just satisfy him, but show Bucky that he could trust Steve in this. Steve’s alpha personality that lead him to a successful career in Special Forces operations kicked in. Please, lead, and control. All of his favorite things to do.

Without warning Steve hooked his arm around Bucky’s waist and hoisted him up, Bucky’s legs naturally hooking around Steve’s narrow hips. Bucky let out a breath of surprise that quickly turned into a soft moan as he felt his cock press into Steve’s. Steve squeezed Bucky’s ass before slamming and pinning him into wall, with Bucky firmly in place he grabbed both of Bucky’s wrists with his free hand and pinned them above his head.

Bucky whined and tried to rut against Steve, feeling the delicious need course through his body as he finally took into account how Steve’s muscles were really not just for show. Steve made a point to drag his lips down Bucky’s neck, slowly devouring him. He sucked on a particular point right above the little part of the left collar bone that showed through v neck shirt, where scar tissue met skin. Steve knew what war wounds looked like. Part of him wanted to stop, to demand to know what happened, to hold. But the other part won out, the part that acknowledged that the wound may have something to do with Bucky’s anxiety and Steve could give him the control he needed.

Steve snuck his free hand along Bucky’s right side. Ghosting his finger tips across the toned area feeling the stutter of his breath along his ribs then without warning Steve dragged his nails back down, Bucky’s moan burst from him. His hands ached to pull out of Steve’s grip, ached to be wrapped around Steve so he could gain purchase to rut against him. Steve smiled and pulled his mouth away looking at the mark that would for sure blossom beautifully over the next few days. Slowly he let Bucky’s arms down, making note of the shift in the metal one.

Still carrying Bucky he opened the door directly to his right, and dropped Bucky on the four post bed. Bucky smiled up at Steve and made to take his shirt off.  
“Leave it” Steve ordered. Bucky’s hand dropped instantly, feeling himself getting impossibly harder at being commanded.

Steve smiled a self satisfied grin as he kneeled over Bucky on the bed and worked the shirt off. Steve marveled at the naked torso, taking in the lines of muscles, running his nails down the fan of intricate tattoos cascading down his ribs. Bucky let out a moan and thrust his hips into the air. Steve took the cue and unbuttoned Bucky’s ridiculously tight jeans, sliding them down while having a brief thought of when Bucky had had time to remove his shoes. Bending his head down he mouthed at the planes of Bucky’s stomach, paying special attention to the lines running down below his boxer briefs. Using his teeth he dragged the boxers half way down exposing Bucky’s aching purple cock.

“Fuck baby doll look at you” Steve said as he nuzzled the hard cock with his nose kissing the shaft. Bucky whined and thrust harder. Steve removed his boxers all the way, coming back and kissing Bucky on the mouth. Smiling into the kiss he reached for Steve’s shirt. Steve grinned wickedly and grabbed Bucky’s wrists again bringing them over his head. “oh no sweet boy, not yet.” He reached behind Bucky pulling down ropes where he kept them neatly tied to the bed but tucked between the headboard and mattress just incase they are needed.

“Color?” Steve checked, “Green dammit, but you’re driving me crazy.” Steve huffed a laugh, “That’s the point” he stated as he knotted the ropes together and ran his fingers down the tops of Bucky’s wrists slowly continuing down his out stretched arms, stopping at his chest. He hovered at Bucky’s nipples, slowly rolling them back and forth between his thumb and forefinger, tugging and releasing watching Bucky’s response with great satisfaction. With each tug he felt his dick bounce against his stomach, begging to be touched.

“Please, please, please” he murmured as the tugs became harder, “Please what?” Steve acknowledged. “Please touch me” Bucky begged. Steve let his nipples go and stared at Bucky as he writhed on the bed, Bucky’s eyes flew open at the loss of the touch. “I don’t think I will” he said nonchalantly. Bucky’s eyes widened, “I think since you didn’t say sir, which is officially rule number 2, you’re gonna have to cum without me touching that perfect cock.”

Bucky moaned even harder, thrusting his hips even harder into the air. Steve took great pleasure in the sight of Bucky’s need. “Steve, sir, I..I can’t, I’ve never...” he begged. Steve smiled, “Shhhh baby shhh I’ve got you, I want you to look at me” Bucky’s eyes stared into his, even as he thrust into the air. “You know what I can’t wait to do” Steve continued in a deep gravely voice, full of want “I can’t wait to spread your ass open and slowly fuck you open with my mouth, to taste that beautiful ass and find out what makes you squirm, to know if you prefer to be opened with my tongue, finger or plug.”

Bucky’s squirming intensified, cock leaking precum on his stomach, his eyes becoming hazy and lids drooping “eyes on me Buck, I want you to think about my fingers slowly fucking you open, first just one, then I’ll add more if you’re good and God if I can make you scream my name, and once I have you nice and open for me Bucky,” Steve sighed longingly, resting his forehead against Bucky’s listening to his breathing growing heavier “oh Buck when you’re open for me that’s when I’m going to string you up, take a cane to that perfect ass of yours and bury my cock so far into you and fuck you relentlessly until everyone in this building knows whose you are.” upon Steve’s last words Bucky’s back bowed off the bed a moan in the form of Steve’s name ripping through him as his cum painted his stomach, slowly with pleasure overwhelming him he closed his eyes

When he came to, it was to a cold wash cloth wiping his abdomen. Steve gave him a half smile, kissed him lightly then after putting the wash cloth in a hamper, climbed onto the bed next to Bucky. “You okay?” he asked. “Yeah, that was... really intense” Bucky laughed “I’ve never been able to do that with anyone. It’s overwhelming, thank you for that and for cleaning me up.” Steve smiled “Listen it’s really late, well I guess early. Would it be weird if I asked you to stay? I mean if you’re uncomfortable please know you won’t hurt my feelings, I just don’t want you to think I’m going to kick you out, especially after...” Steve stopped talking when Bucky’s mouth pressed to his. “Slow down, I’ll stay, but I want to warn you now....I’m an aggressive little spoon.” With a laugh Steve curled behind Bucky, still wearing jeans and a shirt. Bucky sighed with the warmth and drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...uh... that happened. As always leave comments, kudos, or positive feedback as you feel necessary ^.^


	4. Table Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares, smut, and table talk oh my!!!

Steve woke up to whimpers, and a sharp elbow thrust into his ribs, the person next to him obviously in distress. Slowly his sleep addled brain came to ‘Bucky’. His eyes snapped opened to see the man, hair strewn across his face, sticking with cold sweat, whimpering and tossing. Steve knew something about nightmares, years in the Army along with a healthy dose of PTSD had taunted him with them. 

Steve slowly raised up onto his elbow, and began to brush the hair off of Bucky’s face, careful to not startle him awake. “Shh baby doll you’re okay, you’re safe” he said in a low calm voice “Come on Buck, you’re okay, its all okay” he continued to murmur until Bucky’s eyes slowly opened, body tensing again, left arm shooting out and gripping Steve’s shoulder. Bucky’s eyes were wild, taking in the surroundings of the apartment. 

“Hey it’s okay, it’s okay, you’re safe” Steve said, still in a calming voice. The metal hand clenching his shoulder almost painfully as Bucky’s eyes bore into his, the haze of wild sleep leaving them and recognition taking its place. 

“Steve?” he croaked. 

“Yeah Buck, just having a bad dream.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you”. 

“Hey, remember rule number 1? No apologizing, take a second to breath, I’ll go get you a water.” Steve said before climbing out of bed, bare chested with his jeans from last night unbuttoned and hanging off his hips. Bucky stared as he walked away, he hadn’t had a nightmare in so long. Now worried about the impact of his nightmare, Steve didn’t seem phased, but it wasn’t the impression he wanted someone to have of him. 

“I can practically hear you over thinking this” Steve smiled as he walked in, sitting next to Bucky and taking Bucky’s hand away from his mouth to stop him from pulling his cuticles, instead replacing it with a bottle of water. 

“Steve listen I don’t..” 

“You don’t have to explain it to me, unless it helps. I’ve seen scars like yours when I was over seas. I get it.” Steve interrupted. 

“I didn’t know you served, although with a build like yours it seems to fit” Bucky offered a half smile, looking at Steve, seeing his stance of concern and knowing he would have to tell him sooner or later, he continued “I was driving a humvee after a mission, hit an IED on my side and tore my arm off. Nothing major. Not when compared to the 3 guys we lost to it. I shouldn’t have driven there, had a bad feeling that whole day even after we cleared the battle.” 

Steve sighed, sitting next to Bucky he pressed his shoulder to him. “I know you’ve heard it a million times, but it’s not your fault. It has to be hard to carry that feeling” 

“I wish I could see it that way, I’ve done the counseling, rehab, way too many surgeries to count before Stark offered me this” he said holding up his hand “it’s just always in the back of my mind waiting for a lull. Annnnnnd now I just gave someone who is basically a stranger my life story. Sorry.” Blushing Bucky bowed his head. 

Steve put his fingers under Bucky’s chin making sure Bucky’s eyes met his before saying “One, I watched you cum in my bed last night after hours of talking, we’re hardly strangers. Two, don’t ever feel like you can’t tell me these things, I get it, experiences stick with us. Three, I swear if you apologize again, I’m going to bend you over my knee and make it so you can’t sit for a week. Now I’m going to make breakfast.” Steve stood smiling at the blush creeping up Bucky’s chest. Bucky sat for a second taking in that he was for the first time in his life simultaneously: horny, a little anxious and starving. Sighing and resigning himself to confusion he grabbed his boxers and jeans from where they were strewn on the floor and followed Steve to the kitchen. 

“So do you make all your hook ups breakfast, or is just the ones that bare their deepest darkest secrets?” Bucky asked, eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face as he sat at Steve’s table. 

Steve quirked an eyebrow as he began to blend various ingredients “Truthfully? Since we’re sharing secrets now; I haven’t hooked up with anyone “randomly” in about 2 years. My uh ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. Last night was my first time going out in a while. Then I just happened upon you and here I am, thinking about fucking you over the table at some point after we eat french toast” he ended nonchalantly. 

Bucky went brilliantly red and Steve couldn’t help but laugh, “you make it too easy you know, but in all honesty I don’t know if I want this to be just a hook up. I would like to take you out, maybe like on a date?” A faint pink tinted Steve’s cheeks as he made a point of focusing on the mixing bowl. 

Bucky blushed even further as he stood up, walking towards Steve he took the bowl out of the man’s hands setting it on the counter “I would really like that” he said before closing the gap, lacing his fingers behind Steve’s neck and bringing his lips to meet his. The sensation of Steve’s bare skin against his was too much. Bucky realized that up until now he hadn’t been able to truly touch him. Steve sighed at the contact, warmth spreading through him, smiling at Bucky as he broke the kiss to lean his forehead against the other man’s in an endearing gesture. Bucky looked up at him, at the smile that made something twist in his chest, looking Steve dead in the eyes he said “I really like french toast.” Steve’s booming laugh filled the apartment. “I do have to go into work briefly though” Bucky continued “so maybe you can fuck me later say at my place? I too have a table...” Steve grinned “I think that can be arranged.”

***

Bucky had a feeling that the next 9 hours of his life would quite possibly be the longest he had ever experienced. He had left Steve’s after french toast, vowing to make him dinner in way of a pseudo-date. Texting him the address, Bucky knew he would never make it to work on time. Steve’s hands had pushed him onto the couch where he then proceeded to straddle Bucky’s hips while running his fingers through his air, gripping and pulling Bucky’s hair so his head fell back exposing his throat which Steve proceeded to devour. The sounds Steve pulled out of him were frankly ostentatious. Bucky’s hands ran up and down Steve’s back, relishing in the way the muscles tensed and released. When Steve captured Bucky’s mouth, sliding his tongue along his lips, asking permission, Bucky’s nails bit into Steve’s back dragging down, Steve let out a moan that vibrated between them. The alarm on Bucky’s phone went off, signaling that he had to leave for work, successfully breaking them apart. Breathing heavily Bucky smiled and kissed Steve as he made to stand up. It took 10 more minutes of being pushed into walls, against counter tops and once against a very unstable stool before Bucky made it out the door. 

Blushing insanely as the same girl that had been the last off the elevator the previous night joined him on his way to the lobby, Bucky looked into his reflection seeing his disheveled hair, last night’s clothes wrinkled from their spot on the floor, and dear mother of God, hickeys littering his neck and collarbones. He could tell the girl was trying to suppress a smile on the way down to the lobby. As they both walked off the elevator the girl gave him two thumbs up and sauntered off. Bucky was pretty sure he was going to blush for the rest of his life. 

Walking out of the building, and towards his apartment, Bucky thought about the possibilities of tonight, and how he should definitely make sure to clean the table when he got home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thoughts, comments, (constructive) criticism, and kudos are all appreciated. After reading fics for the past 16 years (oh gosh I’m aging myself) I can say that this has been so fun!! More smut to cum (ha see what’ I did there?)


	5. Dinner and a Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve comes over for dinner, gifts are involved, filth, pure filth happens.

It was around 4 o’clock when Bucky finally closed down his part of the shop. Sanitizing his equipment, and locking up the different inks he had pulled out throughout the day. Waving at Tasha, the shop’s receptionist, he walked out the door. Tasha smirked and flipped her blond hair “good luck tonight, tell him to find different places to suck, you’re running out of room on your neck!” She called after him. Bucky smiled, flicking her off as he walked out. The walk home was always nice, especially when the seasons were on the cusp of change. There was a crispness in the air, Bucky thought, making him wish he would have worn a jacket as he heard his phone chime. 

Heart leaping like it had with every other text he had received that day, none of which were from Steve along with the ridiculous smile that Tasha had teased him mercilessly about, Bucky unlocked his phone. 

Steve: Red or white? 

Bucky frowned at his phone, well what the hell was that supposed to mean?

Bucky: White?  
Steve: K. Romance or Horror  
Buck: God I hope you’re not talking about what’s gonna happen on my table. Gonna say horror.  
Steve: Maybe I am baby doll. Sour or sweet?  
Bucky: this is just getting excessive..... but sweet, always sweet.  
Steve: It’ll be worth it, I promise and last one... leather or nylon?  
Bucky: Leather. Always.  
Steve: Go figure. See you at 7. 

Bucky sighed as he closed his phone. Glancing at the sky as he walked on. What was he doing? This man, this cinnamon smelling, gorgeous Adonis-looking, art work of a man that he had known for less than 24 hours, was going to be at his apartment in less than two hours and is apparently either picking out dessert, a purse and/or a porno.

Back at his apartment Bucky cleaned like his life depended on it. Something about the methodical process made him feel slightly more in control of the situation, anxiety lurking in the back of his head, whispering how everything was too good to be true. He ignored it and continued to clean. Wiping down the surfaces (paying special attention to the table), organizing various pillows, and picking up the day-to-day items that had been left strewn about over the course of the last few weeks. He set out the two steaks that he spent 15 minutes picking out at the butcher while on his way home, and decided he had about 45 minutes until Steve would be there, unless he was one of those copiously early people. Bucky rolled his eyes to himself, that would be a whole other ordeal.

In his bathroom Bucky turned the water as hot as he knew he could stand. Peeling off his shirt he gasped at his reflection, the purple marks beginning to flourish. Turning around and peering over his shoulder at his back he saw the faint lines of scratches from the previous night. Feeling oddly satisfied Bucky got into the shower and felt himself relax into the heat. Closing his eyes as he worked shampoo and then conditioner into his hair, he thought about Steve. He smiled when he remembered how careful Steve was with him that morning after the dream, how amazing Steve looked making french toast and talking about his family in Brooklyn, and how delicious the weight of Steve felt on him when they were on the couch. Bucky’s eyes snapped open, looking down at his half hard cock, “nope, stop thinking about him. Think about basketball, the latest episode of Dr.Pimplepopper, literally ANYTHING else but Steve.” He chastised himself. Getting out of the shower he dried off, rubbed E oil on his scars along his shoulder, picked his best skinny cut black jeans and white v neck. Not bothering with shoes, he had his music playing and butter melting for the steaks when Steve knocked. 

Bucky opened the door to see Steve leaning against the frame wearing jeans, a fitted black shirt, holding a bouquet of white roses, and from what Bucky could see, a bag full of what looked like dvd cases. 

“Hey Buck” Steve said, almost shyly.  
“Hey, yourself.” Bucky smiled “Come on in, I was just about to start cooking” he turned and led Steve into his apartment “I didn’t know if you liked wine or beer so I picked up a little bit of both, same thing for asparagus, but I have a salad on stand by just in” 

His words were cut off as Steve turned him abruptly, pinning him against the wall, kissing him with a fierce intensity. “case” Bucky finished, breathing hard and gripping Steve’s hips he looked up at him “You know you have a tendency to cut me off that way”, Steve smiled and nipped at Bucky’s bottom lip “You know, you have a tendency to babble when you’re nervous, and I love asparagus”. 

Bucky laughed “Well good” poking Steve in the side he continued “now you have to move”. 

Steve gave him a half smile “Oh do I? Why is that?” he asked as he nipped Bucky’s jaw. “Because.... asparagus?” Bucky said feebly. Steve’s husky laugh ghosted across his ear sending shivers up his spine “just one more, please?” Bucky smiled “oh a Dom asking please? I guess it’s okay then, sir” Bucky said peering up at Steve through his eye lashes. Steve’s cock twitched at the name and the coy look on Bucky’s face, “fuck” he sighed cupping Bucky’s face with his rough hands, leaning in again. Lips brushing against Bucky’s before devouring. Bucky’s hand slid under Steve’s shirt, his metal one grazing up the man’s spine. As Steve moaned Bucky sighed into him, leaning his forehead against Steve’s both of the their chests heaving against each other’s. 

It turned out that Steve made a great sue-chief, talking while chopping asparagus, while Bucky poured wine and prepped the salad as the steaks sizzled in the pan. Bucky marveled at how at ease he was around Steve, moving in synch and working in tandem. The conversation flowing between them during dinner ranged from a discussion about where they had served, realizing that they had missed each other by 2 days in Kenya a few years ago, and laughing at the fact that they went to rival high schools. 

Steve made a point of doing the dishes, which Bucky had to admire, insisting that Bucky pick out a dvd from the bag he brought. As he pulled out “40 Days of Night” Bucky’s hand brushed a box that was long and thin, pulling it out he asked “What’s this?” Steve turned, hands soapy a blush rising up his neck when he saw what Bucky was holding. Hastily wiping his hands off he walked over and took the box. 

The blush riding even lower across Steve’s throat down his chest, Bucky was wondering just how far the blush went when Steve replied softly “I was gonna hold off until later, but I figured if you wanted me, like to stay around and if you were comfortable... well... “he opened the box to reveal the sleek white leather collar with three rings spaced on it, Bucky’s eyes widened “I know it’s fast and if you hate the color I can change it and trust me you don’t even have to wear it if you’re not ready” Bucky beamed rubbing the leather with the pad of his thumb, looking up at Steve “I love it” he stated, “can I wear it now?” he asked, relief flooded over Steve as he nodded picking up the collar and walking behind Bucky to put it over his head and drape it around his neck, tightening it to the third hole. 

Thumbs brushing slowly on the back of Bucky’s neck where the leather met skin caused goosebumps to rise as Bucky shivered out a low hum in the back of his throat. He stayed behind Bucky, slipping a finger under the collar giving it a sharp tug. His breath hitched as his head fell back onto Steve’s shoulder. Steve removed his finger and brought his hand around Bucky’s front to cup his chin, turning it so their lips could meet. In this position Bucky felt the collar press against his adam’s apple, moaning at the small restraint in his air he sunk deeper into the kiss. Steve’s fingers slipped from his chin down to his throat where he traced the line of the collar against Bucky’s skin lightly back and forth. Bucky could feel Steve’s hard length press into him, moaning he pressed his ass firmly into it, trying to find purchase and some sense of release, his own cock hardening maddeningly, making him regret his now ridiculously tight jeans. 

Unable to resist he turned, wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck pulling himself up to wrap his legs around Steve’s hips. Steve inhaled audibly, one hand coming around to grip Bucky’s ass the other gripping the bottom of Bucky’s shirt pulling it over his head temporarily breaking the kiss. Bucky’s lips collided back to his, devouring each other Steve walked Bucky back until they hit the table. Bucky’s hands freed themselves as sat on the edge of the table, he clawed at the bottom of Steve’s shirt whining in the back of his throat in frustration due to his position. Bucky made to stand, but Steve pushed him back on the table, standing in front of him he reached down and pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his chiseled chest and abs. 

“Fuck” Bucky sighed as Steve walked back to him, without a thought except for “want” Bucky hooked his finger in Steve’s belt loop and pulled him closer, mouth clamping onto Steve’s nipple, biting and tugging. Steve’s head fell back a deep moan leaving his throat, Bucky made quick work of Steve’s distraction, undoing his pants and trying desperately to work them over his glorious ass. Taking the hint Steve laughed, gripping the back of Bucky’s hair he kissed him deeply while using his other hand to remove his jeans the rest of the way. 

“Stand up” Steve’s rough voice said, breaking the kiss,Bucky scrambled off the table standing in front of him, hands aching to touch him everywhere. Steve closed the distance softly kissing Bucky on the neck, working his way down his chest, then to Bucky’s astonishment he knelt down in front of him, letting his fingernails graze down his sides, finally coming to rest on his hips. Looking up and meeting Bucky’s eyes, he popped open the button of his jeans, sliding the zipper down, he gripped both Bucky’s jeans and his tight black boxer briefs and proceeded to pull them down his thighs freeing his cock. 

Stepping out of his jeans Bucky stared at Steve in awe of him in a prone position. Steve smiled up at Bucky, taking his hard length in his hand Bucky’s head fell back, a low moan escaping his throat, his hands instantly tangling into Steve’s hair. “Hey Buck...” he said in a raspy voice, their eyes met and he finished “you’re not allowed to cum until I say so, can you do that for me baby boy?” he asked continually stroking over Bucky’s hard cock spreading the beaded precum over the head. Bucky moaned. Steve tugged faster “you have to answer me Bucky, do you understand” his voice was firm as his hand went even faster, Bucky was gasping for breath “yes! Yes I understand” Steve’s advances halted as he looked up at Bucky “Well now sweetheart, I do believe you just broke our rule.” Smiling cockily he stood up, Bucky whined resisting the urge to relieve the pressure that had built in his stomach, begging for release. “Were you bad?” Bucky shook his head, “Really, what’s my name when you have this collar on?” Steve said sternly advancing closer to Bucky, in a small voice Bucky answered “Sir.” “That’s right, so how many do you want Buck, you pick since it’s your first time” Bucky but his lip, cock throbbing and begging to be touch as he looked at Steve. Steve couldn’t get enough of this look, needy, flushed, hair mused, and cock aching. “Five?” Buck asked, face flushing even more as he said it. “Five it is, turn around baby” Bucky turned body facing the table. Steve pushed Bucky down until his chest was pressed to the cold hard surface, legs slightly spread, ass up and ready. “Count them. I want to hear you say them nice and clear, understand me?” Bucky’s heart was hammering with anticipation when he answered “yes sir”. The first blow was a glorious ‘smack’ on his right cheek, Bucky let out a clear moan of “one”, Steve smiled “Good boy, God your ass is perfect. Can’t wait until I have you screaming my name” he said as he rubbed the stinging cheek, then bringing his hand back down on the opposite cheek Bucky flinched “two” he moaned again, his cock dripping cum on to the floor. Steve smiled “Fuck baby you should see how red your ass is, tomorrow you’re going to think about me every time you sit down”, Bucky couldn’t resist “I already do” he said sarcastically, making Steve smile and quickly deliver two more blows to his sensitive cheeks, Bucky moaned and let out a quick jumble of “threefour” as Steve rubbed again “cheeky little fucker aren’t you babe, last one nice and loud for me sweet heart” Bucky heart was in his throat and hands clenching the sides of the table so hard he knew there would be a dent from the metal one. The final blow landed right where Bucky’s ass cheeks met thigh vibrating up so close to his balls that the last number came out of “fucking fuck five” as he moaned, dangerously close to cumming right then and there. 

Steve smiled and leaned over Bucky, kissing along his shoulders murmuring praise, “your ass looks fantastic, you did so good babe, I’m so proud of you, hopefully now you’ll remember our rule. How are you doing baby what’s your color?” he asked. Bucky was practically panting “Fuck, green” he said in a needy voice. Slowly Steve reached into the bag he brought and pulled out lube, putting some on his fingers he slipped one into Bucky’s tight hole. “I can’t wait to fuck you Bucky, I can’t wait to fuck you so hard you scream my name. Can’t wait to watch that beautiful cock of yours cum. You’ve been such a good boy” he said and added another finger, slipping in and out while Bucky moaned. Steve used his other hand to stroke up and down Bucky’s back praising him and leaving scratches down his sides. Bucky’s moans were getting louder as Steve finger fucked him harder. Finally, he pulled his fingers out, much to Bucky’s dismay, biting open the condom wrapper Steve rolled the condom on and lined his cock up with Bucky’s waiting hole. “Fuck baby look at you, so needy, so fucking ready. Do you remember last night, how hard you came on my bed?” Bucky whined at the thought “yes sir” he huffed, wiggling his ass trying hard not to reach down and touch himself, “Good boy, I’m going to make you cum so hard, do you want me to touch you or do you think you can do it without me touching that beautiful cock?” he asked as he slowly slipped himself inside Bucky’s tight heat, Bucky moaned loud at the intrusion, eyes rolling from the pleasure, a quick smack on his ass cheeks brought him back “answer me Bucky, touched or untouched?” Steve was fucking all the way into Bucky now hitting his prostate over and over, as jolts of pleasure raked up his body Bucky began to beg “touched, please sir touched”. Steve smiled “alright baby, just for you, remember not until I tell you to.” he ended and began to pummel into Bucky’s ass making him moan even louder a mantra of “fuck yes, Steve sir fuck fuck fuck” he continued with the cadence of Steve slamming into him. 

When Steve noticed Bucky’s hole clenching around him knowing they were both close he reached down and began stroking Bucky’s dick. Bucky moaned, and Steve swore he was as close to heaven as he was ever going to get. “You’ve been so good babe, so fucking good for me, cum for me baby, cum” and that was all it took, Bucky’s release hit him like a steam roller, moaning out Steve’s name as he came, back bowing up. Steve’s release closely followed, with a groan he leaned over resting his forehead on Bucky’s back, sweat slicking his forehead. He kissed Bucky’s back practically worshiping his skin, murmuring praises as he went. 

Slowly pulling out, he quickly disposed of the condom in the kitchen trash, stopping and staring at Bucky who was still splayed across the table. Smiling he walked over gently moving Bucky to a sitting position at the edge of the table, taking in the indention from his metal hand on the edge, and the line left across his hips from where the edge of the table had dug in. Taking Bucky into his arms bridal style, he carried him into what he assumed was the master bathroom, murmuring praises as he took off Bucky’s collar and turned on the shower. Letting the steam fill the shower he got in and gently set Bucky on his feet where he leaned against Steve with a sigh, nestling his head into Steve’s neck. After washing the dredges of sweat and sex off of them both letting the heat loosen his tightly wound muscles he proceeded to dry Bucky off, who simply sat and smiled dreamily at Steve. When he finally got them both into bed he tucked Bucky into his side, Bucky looked at him eyes already glazed with sleep “Thank God I cleaned the table” he said setting his head on Steve’s chest. Steve laughed, kissing Bucky on the top of the head “Good night Buck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Proceeds to take an ice cold shower* I’m probably going to hell for this chapter. My bad. As always thoughts, comments, (constructive) critisims, and kudos are all much appreciated. It’s not over yet folks.


	6. Wake Ups and Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slow morning fluffs, run ins, and tattoos.

The warmth Bucky felt upon waking was a cross between lying under laundry fresh from the drier, and being 10 feet away from the sun. Without opening his eyes Bucky took note of the steady rhythm of Steve’s heart as he slept. It was oddly soothing to listen and feel the steady rise and fall of his chest as he slept. Bucky opened his eyes, moving slowly he pulled his head back looking up at Steve’s sleeping face. ‘How in the world does he have eyelashes that long?’ was Bucky’s first thought, slowly he brushed his fingers across the man’s cheek bones in awe of his sleeping form. Steve sighed nuzzling his face into Bucky’s metal hand making Bucky smile. Steve rolled onto his side, half laying on top of Bucky, burying his face into the space between his neck and shoulder letting out a sigh. Automatically wrapping his left arm up and around Steve’s shoulders he ran his fingers through his hair methodically. 

It took a few minutes of laying together Steve breathing heavily against his neck, for Bucky to realize for the first time in years his mind was clear of anxious thoughts. Steve was like a warm blanket for his thoughts; soothing him into a sense of security that quieted his mind. Bucky smiled and kissed Steve’s forehead; shifting Steve peered at him blue eyes hazed with sleep. “Hey you” he mumbled, Bucky smiled “Hey” he replied softly. 

Steve’s free hand brushed against his bare hip as he dragged it up to cup Bucky’s face, tenderly kissing his lips. Bucky sank into the warmth of the kiss letting his tongue brush along Steve’s lower lip, enjoying the way he opened for him with a sigh. As the kiss deepened Bucky’s fingers ghosted along the bare leg that Steve had hitched over Bucky’s side. Drawing patterns on the back of Steve’s thigh he felt the muscles twitch and Steve’s length growing harder against his hip. Smiling into the kiss Steve’s arm slipped under Bucky’s back, gripping his ribs he rolled them over, Bucky straddling his hips, cocks inches from each other. 

Steve nudged his nose against Bucky’s, enjoying the way his hair created a curtain around them. Finger tracing down Bucky’s spine, Steve moved from Bucky’s mouth to moving his lips along the stubbles jaw line, down further to his neck. Nipping and sucking, Steve vowed that he would try to pull out these glorious moans from Bucky for as long as he was allowed. Finally his lips landed on Bucky’s scarred shoulder, Bucky’s eyes flew open stuttering “I, I can’t really feel that on the scars, you don’t have to... it’s really not...” Steve looked up at Bucky, lips hovering above the metal “can you feel this?” he pressed a kiss against against his arm, hissing out a soft “yes” Bucky’s eyes closed. Steve sat up, keeping Bucky on his lap with an arm around his waist. Steve moved his mouth back to the metal arm, kissing and murmuring his lips over the different plates. Bucky’s hips swayed on Steve’s rutting their cocks together slowly, moaning. “You’re gorgeous Buck, every single part of you. This is just another part that I can’t get enough of.” When he finished kissing each of the metal finger tips, Bucky grabbed him by the chin forcing their mouths together, tongues instantly intertwining the rutting growing more fervent. Bucky whined when Steve moved him to laying on his back, Steve’s hands pressing into the mattress holding himself up, he kissed Bucky then moved down to his nipples, pinching and twisting in an easy way that made Bucky’s cock bounce against his stomach with every jolt of pleasure. 

Steve sunk his mouth to the hilt of Bucky’s cock in one fluid motion making Bucky bow off of the bed, a moan ripping through his throat. Relaxing his throat Steve took him even deeper, infatuated with how Bucky’s hair fanned out and his hands gripped into his sheets. Slicking his fingers with the lube next to the bed he continued to suck as he worked his fingers into Bucky’s tight hole. Coming off of Bucky’s cock with an audible ‘pop’, Steve watched Bucky squirm and thrust himself onto his hand. “Fuck baby, you’re so needy. What do you want babe, want to come with my hand or my cock?” Bucky whined and continued to fuck himself in the fingers. Steve smiled and pinched Bucky’s nipple hard, Bucky opened his eyes “my hand or my cock baby doll, which one?” Bucky sighed “cock please Steve, sir” he added on. Steve smiled making quick work of rolling on a condom, he slipped into Bucky’s tight hole bringing Bucky’s legs to a bent position so they could lay over his forearms as he held them. Fucking into him slowly Steve buried himself until Bucky’s tight heat was completely surrounding him. Groaning he leaned forward kissing Bucky while his cock positioned to brush against the bud of nerves repeatedly Bucky whined “Harder Stevie? Sir?” which was the only signal Steve needed, he began sliding into him in long brutal strokes, hitting home each time. Bucky moaned, and Steve dropped his legs, leaning with one hand pressed into the mattress above Bucky’s head the other wrapping around his cock. “Are you gonna cum for me baby?” Steve asked kissing everywhere he could reach in their current position. “Nnngggg” was the only thing Bucky could say. Smirking Steve felt his own balls drawing up tight as he approached his release “cum with me baby” he said, voice stern as his pace went relentlessly faster. Bucky’s hands flew to Steve’s back digging into the flesh as his release washed over his body feeling himself clench as Steve emptied himself. Slowly fucking into Bucky until he couldn’t anymore Steve laid down on top of him, mirroring their earlier position with his face in the crook of Bucky’s neck breathing hard. “God” Bucky said with a sigh. “Actually my name is Steve” he replied, earning him a poke in the side from Bucky both bodies shaking with laughter and basking in the warmth of each other. 

****  
Again Bucky knew he would be late to work. Waking up, hot morning sex, and breakfast with a guy who repeatedly would stop whatever he was doing to kiss him fervently led to Bucky breezing into the shop 35 minutes late. Luckily he didn’t feel too bad about having to rush out, as Steve had murmured something about having an appointment today before going down to the VA center to meet with his group. 

Walking past the front counter Tasha smirked knowingly “I’m assuming he found other places to suck?” Bucky flicked her off again heading to his station to set up for his first appointment, sighing as he got out sterile equipment. 

Focusing on the task at hand it took Bucky a second to realize he recognized the voice that was coming over the other side of the wall at he front desk. 

“Steve?” He asked poking his head up.

Steve’s head jerked up “Buck?! what are you doing here?!” 

“I work here...” Bucky said in disbelief realizing he never told Steve what he did.

Tasha looked back and forth between the two, both of their faces flushed and wearing the same expression of utter disbelief. “Well this ought the be good” she said under her breath, snapping her gum.

“Wait so are you my eleven o’clock appointment for the script?” Bucky said, ears burning red.

“Yeah that’s me, if you’re not comfortable though I can find another shop” Steve said hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“No!” Bucky practically shouted “No” he continued, doing his best to tamper down the nerves in his voice “it’s fine, I didn’t know that the appointment you talked about was to get a tattoo...” He finished. 

Steve smiled “Yeah, I booked a few weeks ago because I heard this shop had great reviews especially, well assuming you’re James B. on the website, your tattoos all looked amazing. Wait is your name not Bucky?!” Steve asked eyeing Bucky.

“Its a nick name from my family, my middle name is Buchanan, and Bucky just sort of stuck, I really only go by James for legal purposes” Bucky offered him a half smile. “Well if you’re comfortable come on back and we can get started on things. Tasha can you grab me a water while you’re out for lunch?” Bucky asked, his eyes boring into hers “My lunch isn’t for another forty five” “Thanks Tasha” Bucky said cutting her off “take your time at lunch!” Natash rolled her eyes, picking up her purse she flounced out of the shop. Later Bucky would get a text from her saying “You owe me, don’t mess up the sterile field with all of your sucking” 

Steve sat in the chair staring at Bucky, the strangeness of seeing him in an unfamiliar environment, hair pulled back in a bun, holding a sketch pad as he sat on the artist stool next to the chair. Looking up he met Steve’s eyes smiling sheepishly at him. “So what are you thinking” he asked. “You want to know the truth?” Steve said, Bucky frowned before he could answer Steve continued “I’m thinking about what a weird twist of fate it is that even if I wouldn’t have gone to the club that night, I still would still get to meet you” he said smiling. 

Bucky laughed and put his hand on Steve’s thigh, rubbing his thumb back and fourth “True. And now you get to have me inflict pain on you, what a luckily twist of fate for me.” Steve barked out a laugh. “So what is it you’re thinking about getting?” he asked flipping to an empty page in his book and looking up Steve. “There’s a buddhist quote “When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world” I was hoping to get it right here” he said, placing his hand on his left peck a few inches below his collar bone. Bucky smiled, “I love that, very suiting. What kind of script were you thinking and how much area did you want to cover?” They worked out the details. Steve watching as Bucky leaned over his sketch pad carefully forming the letters in a way that would fit, a piece of hair kept falling out from his bun, and Bucky kept tucking it behind his ear. 

Steve couldn’t resist, there was no way to resist someone who looked so serious creating something that would be permanently etched on his skin. He reached down and cupped Bucky’s chin as he had done so many times over the last 72 hours, Bucky automatically looking up and going with the touch, lips pressing against Steve’s. “You know, once I get started you can’t do that me. I’ll probably end up giving you a stray line.” Bucky joked when Steve released him, flushed and grinning. “I’ll just have to make due with thinking about how great it felt inside of you this morning” he said, rewarded by the blush that erupted over Bucky’s neck “Jesus Steve.” he sighed exasperated “Alright horn dog, off with your shirt”. Steve smirked, eye brow raised as he pulled his shirt over his head, instantly the smirk turned into a simple smile as Bucky became all business. Shaving the sparse hair in the area and taking his time placing the stencil at the exact angle Steve had asked for. Peeling it off he looked at Steve “How does that look to you?” He asked, turning Steve to face the mirror at his station. Steve resisted the urge to touch the wet stencil but sent Bucky a radiant grin “looks amazing” he said. Bucky pointed to the chair, making Steve lay down; positioning his light, tray and machine around the area. 

Rubbing some ointment over the lettering with his pinky he looked up at Steve “I’m gonna go over the first few lines, sometimes it’s a shock at first so try not to tense up and take deep even breaths, and don’t look at me like that, I’ve had grown giant biker dudes pass out on me before” he finished, when Steve rolled his eyes. 

Bucky leaned over, face close to Steve’s chest, dragging the needles through the first few lines, he felt Steve gasp. “Breath Stevie” he said easily and kept going. For the next hour that he worked they stayed relitivly quiet except for the occasional ‘How ya doin’s and ‘Fine’s. 

When it was over Tasha was sitting back behind the desk, and Bucky stood taking a drink of the water she had set on his work station. Brushing the hair behind his ears he cleaned the skin with a spurt of cold solution, which made Steve gasp, Bucky had to actively ignore the way Steve’s nipples hardened. Looking in the mirror Steve smile widened. “This is amazing, thank you Buck” he said sincerely. Bucky blushed “Any time” he said, pulling out the bandage to cover it. The front bell jingled and Bucky looked up, seeing his one o’clock appointment walk in he smiled at Steve “Natasha will go over the after-care instructions with you, and will take care of the payment up front, and well obviously you know how to get in touch with me if you have any questions.” he finished. Steve smiled, walking backwards to the receptionist desk “I’ll um text you tonight yeah?” he asked, biting his lip. Bucky smiled “Sure Stevie”. Greeting his next client with a familiar hand shake, and taking him back, Bucky looked over his shoulder and caught Steve’s eye smiling again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL THE FLUFF! Guys I keep thinking I’m going to end it, then it’s gets sweet and I just want to write more. Sooner or later I’m gonna have to add some conflict. Damnittttt. Enjoy the fluff while it lasts muchachos. As always comments, (constructive) critisms, and kudos are always appreciated. Y’all are all amazing. Thanks for sticking with me!


	7. All The Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just the typical “meet the parents/family, and bite the shit out of Bucky” kinda trip.

It had been four months of dating, four months of maddening bliss. Learning about each others likes and dislikes. Bucky relished in the way Steve would sit and sketch for hours before he had to go to work at the base. Watching his forehead scrunch up when he was especially concentrated on a detail. They hadn’t fought, just learned. Learned about the bad days and the good. Who enjoyed grocery shopping (Bucky) and would rather go for a run first thing in the morning (Steve).

Four glorious months of waking up next to the sun, rounds of copious sex on every flat surface possible, meeting each other’s friends, and dear God now Bucky was getting ready for a five hour drive across the state to meet Steve’s family for the holidays. His stomach lurched as he stood in his closet wearing only his briefs staring at his clothes; he could hear Steve in his kitchen prepping breakfast. What did one wear to meet the parents of the guy that banged him into oblivion every night? Bucky thought anxiously. Short of sticking a hanger in his eye he didn’t think he would be able to get out of it. From what he had heard about Steve’s family (typical nuclear American-a; Mom’s a nurse, Dad’s a dentist, two blond haired blue eyed twin sisters in college) Bucky felt like he was the farthest thing from what should be brought home. What if they hate tattoos?! What if they have issues with the fact that he literally still has a hickey peaking out from every collared shirt he tried on because of their dumb ass son’s love for marking him?! Holy God, what if they called him James?! Bucky sighed feeling the familiar slide of panic as he thought of all the awful possibilities that could happen. He felt Steve step in behind him wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist, placing his chin on the man’s shoulder.

“I could hear you thinking all the way from the kitchen.” Steve murmured in his ear.  
Bucky sighed leaning back against his chest, relishing in the way Steve’s warmth enveloped him.  
“What if they hate me?”  
“Impossible” Steve scoffed.  
“Steve we’re polar opposites. You’re all tall and Adonis-like, a blond hair blue eyed angel, and I’m the devil child who permanently marked and defiled their baby.” Bucky closed his eyes in dismay.  
“Someone’s feeling a flair for drama this morning, listen baby you’re not some short ugly little potato” Steve laughed. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. On top of that my mother marched in the MeToo movement, and my Dad was raised by hippies. They both love me for me and pretty much everyone loves them. My mom is gonna guilt you into eating too much of her lasagna because she’s gonna think you’re way too skinny, and the only problem you’re really gonna have is being miserably full. At least you’re not a vegan.” Bucky laughed a nervous stutter. 

“Quit trying to make me feel better and help me pack.” Steve turned him in his arms and grabbed his face, “I promise they will love you James Buchanan Barnes” Bucky’s heart leapt in his throat, “And how do you know that Steven Grant Rogers?” Bucky replied slyly. Smiling Steve leaned his forehead against Bucky’s “Because I love you, and they tend to love what I love.” Bucky laughed a watery laugh that was dangerously close to a sob. “Really?! You tell me that for the first time while we are literally IN a closet?! I love you too, by the way. So fucking much.” Beaming Steve kissed his forehead “Now pack up and come out of your closet, it’s 2018 I shouldn’t have to say these things.”  
***  
The drive across the state was beautiful. It was evident Bucky rarely got out of the city, when they hit highway 81, Steve heard Bucky audibly gasp. The stretch of trees covered in icy December crystals was expansive, and Bucky looked like a kid in a candy store pressed against the window.  
“Urbanite much?” Steve laughed, taking Bucky’s hand in his, rubbing this thumb along the man’s knuckles marveling at the fit. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but we should go camping! But not in a tent, maybe a cabin?! We could have cabin sex!” Bucky exclaimed turning his head and beaming at Steve. “Alright Buck.” Honestly, Bucky could have asked for the sun and Steve would do his damnedest to get it for him. 

He glanced over, and saw Bucky’s eyes staring in wonderment at the snow covered ground. Steve’s heart swelled, jumping into his throat like it had countless times during the past four months. This beautiful guy with his storm gray eyes, who danced in his underwear, created beautiful art work, and had endless amounts of energy, loved him. 

Pulling into the drive way of the familiar two story house, the long front porch was decorated in Christmas lights, wreaths and a Santa figurine. Steve felt the warmth of “home” flood through him. He felt the panic radiating off Bucky as he stiffened beside him. Grabbing his chin and turning it towards him he kissed Bucky’s nose “I know it doesn’t help until you’re on the other side of it, but I promise it’ll be okay. They will love you, because you’re an amazing human and because I love you.” he said. Bucky gave him a half smile, taking a deep breath he unbuckled himself from the jeep, and jumped out. Steve grabbed their suit cases and followed Bucky up the ice slicked path to the front porch. Steve set down their luggage, opened the door, nudging them inside and taking a step in as he called “Mom? Dad? We’re here.” “Steve?!” A voice called from the kitchen through the family room. A tall blond woman with ice blue eyes the same color as Steve’s appeared “Ah! My baby is home!” She exclaimed capturing Steve into a tight hug, squeezing him and laying her head on his shoulder “Missed you” she whispered kissing him on the cheek and letting him go. Turning toward Bucky, he bit his lip apprehensively, she smiled warmly “And you must be Bucky! Steve has told me so much about you, thank you for coming all the way here to stay with us!” she said hugging him tightly. Bucky beamed at her, physically relaxing “Thanks for having me ma’am”. “None of that, you call me Sara. Come on back to the kitchen, I heard you can cook and I have wine. Steve take your suitcases and coats up to your room and then join us. Your Dad is picking your sisters up at the airport and should be back in an hour.” Steve smiled at Bucky and picked up the suitcases as Bucky followed his mom back into the kitchen. Bucky’s jaw dropped at the large expansive kitchen and dining area. She smiled and patted Bucky’s cheek “You have been in the car for a while, want some wine? I just opened a great red.” Bucky smiled and accepted the glass she held out. “So tell me everything, Bucky what do you do in New York?” Bucky felt a twinge of nerves “I’m a tattoo artist. I own my shop in a brooklyn.” Buck said apprehensively. “Fascinating! Also call me Sara dear. I really would like to get another one but I can never make up my mind” Sara explained, while pulling out a cutting board. “Will you cut some onions for me while I start the sauce?” she asked Bucky. Bucky smiled taking the knife, chopping the white onions. 

When Steve walked in he saw two of his favorite people, bantering back and forth about recipes. Bucky’s smile was contagious as Steve came around and kissed him on the cheek, snatching his wine glass and taking a sip. Bucky smiled accepting the peck on the cheek and a refill. “So Steve tells me you served?” She asked whilst stirring in tomatoes. “Yes ma’, Sara” Bucky caught himself “for 7 years. I um lost my arm to an IED and was honorably discharged.” Sara’s eyes dawned a look that was sad but without pitty, she put down her spoon, walking up to him in a familiar gesture she took his chin in her hand looking into his eyes “Thank you for your service” she said before kissing his forehead and going back to the sauce. While Bucky looked stunned, Steve smiled at him also holding his chin he touched his lips to the shorter man’s. “I told you so.” He whispered, keeping a hand on his hip, slowly brushing his thumb under his shirt to Bucky’s warm skin. 

Thirty minutes later as the lasagna was being slid into the oven to cook, the front door slammed. “Mom?!” the two girls voices chorused “Is that Steve’s car in the drive way?!” one said, while the other asked “Did he bring the hot guy with him, the one he always posts on Instagram?!”. They barged into the kitchen like hurricanes, tall and slender with masses of curly blond hair down to their waists, stunningly green eyes lined in charcoal. Bucky’s face burned bright red as he downed the rest of his wine. 

“Jesus do you two have to be the loudest human beings on earth?” Steve said jokingly as he stood up smiling, both girls squealed and leapt into his arms. “Missed you jerk” one said while the other commented “you know you love us”. “All my babies under one roof again, it really is Christmas.” Sara smiled as she came around the island taking the girls into her arms. The man that followed them in was nothing short of a giant. Taller than Steve with brown hair and green eyes, he smiled at Bucky “You must be the boyfriend, I’m John Rogers” Bucky smiled offering his hand “Bucky, Bucky Barnes.” The hand shake turned into a hug, and Bucky couldn’t help but smile. What was with this family? “God he is hot” exclaimed one of the twins. “Jesus Christ Jess” Steve mumbled, Bucky was pretty sure he was going to stay permanently flushed the whole trip. He turned and offered his hand going to introduce himself to the girls but instead, as he had come to expect both wrapped their arms around his neck. Steve just smiled “These are my sisters Jessica and Meghan., I promise they weren’t raised by wolves.” The girls pulled back and smiled, “We can’t wait to hear everything! How’s New York? How did you two meet? What do you do?” they fired of rapidly at Steve and Bucky. Bucky smiled looking at Sara slightly overwhelmed, “I think I’m going to need some more wine for this.”  
***  
Laying in bed after dinner Bucky moaned in exaggeration and laid a hand on his stomach while Steve pulled on his pajama bottoms. “I told you she would guilt you into eating more.” Steve said smiling as Bucky squinted at him in mock disdain, “I think I gained fifteen pounds in one sitting, I won’t fit into my skinny jeans after I leave here.” Bucky pouted. Steve smiled laying next to him pulling him into his side “Does that mean you’ll be naked all the time? Because I’ll gladly go down and get some pie for you.” Bucky laughed and turned to face him. “I don’t really want to eat pie right now.” Smiling mischievously he slid his index finger along Steve’s pajama pants, untying the draw strings. “Really?” Steve said “Under the roof where I grew up?!” he asked in mock shock. “Yup” Bucky answered, causing the final /p/ to pop. 

He lowered himself hooking Steve’s pants drawing them down over Steve’s hardening cock. Nuzzling it with his nose he took Steve’s balls into his hands, rolling and stroking them with his fingers teasingly. Steve’s moan was deep, “Shhhh can’t let your family hear what I’m going to do their sweet baby boy” Bucky said, slowly kissing the head and lapping at the slit. “And what are you going to do to me baby doll?” Steve asked breathlessly starring at Bucky, pupils blown out. “Well first I’m going to suck your cock like my life depends on it” Bucky said as his lips claimed the head and slid down slowly his hand gripping the thick base. Steve’s moan became louder Bucky pulled off, “Shhh babe”, “Tell me what you’re going to do next Buck” Steve countered voice deep and commanding. “Well” he stated “I have a surprise for you... Remember when I left for a little while when we were playing Monopoly with your family?” Steve frowned, trying hard to concentrate on what Bucky was saying as he continued to fist his cock occasionally sucking and lapping at “Yeah?” he answered breathlessly, slightly confused. “I got you a present” Bucky stood up taking off his pajama pants, then kneeling on the bed he turned around presenting his ass to Steve. At the sight of the bright blue base of the butt plug, Steve groaned instantly coming up on his knees. “God, you mischievous boy. We played monopoly for like 4 more hours after you came back!” he said exasperated. Bucky grinned looking over his shoulder wiggling his ass at Steve. “I know, I was hard the whole fucking time.” Steve moaned, his dick jolting at the sight of Bucky’s ass stuffed with the bright blue plug he loved to put in him, the one that prepped him perfectly. Biting his lip he softly caressed Bucky’s ass, fingers drifting down the cleft to the plug. Slowly he pulled the base past the tight rim, Bucky moaned biting his lip. “You’ve been so bad baby, now I’m gonna fuck you so hard and you can’t make a sound. Understand me?” Steve asked, taking the collar off the bed side table where he had placed it and hooking it around Bucky’s neck. Bucky blushed with pleasure, his cock dragging against the sheets as he wiggles his ass in the air again. “Yes sir.” He answered. Steve smiled “And baby, if you make a noise, if you make a noise you don’t get to cum tonight, remember that sweet heart.” He bit into Bucky’s plump ass cheek so hard he knew he would bruise. Bucky bit his lip, slamming his face into the mattress to keep the moan inaudible. Steve smiled “Good boy, you ready for me to pull this plug out baby, ready for my cock, or are you gonna be greedy and want to keep it in all night.” Bucky moaned into the bedding again at the thought. Steve wrapped his hand around Bucky’s swaying hard cock slowly pulling, nonchalantly he continued “I can always just fuck your face and make you sleep with this in. Whilst it was a sweet surprise you didn’t really ask my permission to wear it. If you slept with it in I could pull it out at anytime while you were sleeping and slowly slip my cock in you. Is that what you want babe? Want my hard cock now or later?” Steve murmured in Bucky’s ear? biting the lobe while continually jacking him off. Bucky brought his face up from the mattress, turning and looking pleadingly into Steve’s eyes he said “I want whatever you want sir”. Steve could have came right then and there. Crushing his mouth to Bucky’s he bit his bottom lip reveling in the tremble he could feel coming from Bucky being positioned for so long. While kissing him he slowly brought his hand back and pulled the plug out of Bucky’s ass, capturing his moan in his mouth. “I’m going to fuck you so hard love, bring your ass to the edge of the bed” Bucky position his feet on the floor as fast as he could, ass feeling empty from the departure of the plug, he laid his stomach on the bed with his ass up in the cold air of the room. Fighting the urge to beg Steve to fuck him Bucky squirmed rubbing his cock into the bed. Noticing Bucky’s need, Steve bent down taking the other man’s cock in his hand and slowly he slipped his tongue into his already stretched hole, wetting and licking it, moaning at the taste that was purely Bucky. Bucky’s moan was loud even with it being muffled into the blankets, pushing his ass against Steve’s tongue. 

Standing suddenly Steve slid his cock to the hilt in one fluid motion, Bucky bit the sheets and closed his eyes tightly, willing himself not to scream out in pleasure. The pace Steve set was brutal, Bucky’s cock was trapped between his stomach and the bed, successfully rubbing him in time with Steve’s thrusts. Steve feeling his own orgasm approaching became primal, leaning over and biting Bucky on the bottom of his neck near his shoulder, causing him to cum instantaneously, eyes rolling back in pleasure, whimpering as he felt Steve’s release. Steve slowly continued to fuck into him until both of their orgasms had subsided. Kissing up and down Bucky’s shoulders murmuring assurances. Breathing heavily, they both stood sneaking to the shower that was located next to the room. 

“Jesus Steve” Bucky laughed as he leaned into the hot water, feeling the burn as the water hit his neck “You turning into a vampire on me?”  
Steve peered at his shoulder and the dark bruise that was already beginning to form “Fuck, I’m so so sorry. I can go grab ice?!” He asked, eyes wide with panic. “It’s okay, really just wow. That was intense.” Bucky said leaning on Steve sighing as he wrapped his arms around his thin waist. Steve smiled “You’re telling me, I really am sorry.” “It’s fine, I’ll pay you back sooner or later” he replied. “I don’t know whether to be scared or excited” Steve said turning the water off and wrapping a giant bath towel around Bucky. Bucky grinned up at him “Both. Always both.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently by “conflict” I meant a bright blue butt plug. Maybe I’m just meant to be a fluff writer. Who knows? Y’all seriously, comments make my day, kudos make me smile, constructive criticism makes me cringe and edit, but I’ll take them all! :)


	8. The Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two phone calls change Bucky’s life.

Christmas day was when Steve got the call. Bucky was sleeping on his stomach, with Steve’s arm sprawled over his lower back. The ringer on Steve’s phone was turned all the way up, jolting them both awake with the sound of his work ring tone.   
“This is Rogers” Steve answered, voice gravely from sleep.  
“Captain, it’s Barton. Recent bombings in Sierra have led to a loss of our government correspondent, we know a possible area he may have been taken to, don’t know if he’s alive. I know we said we would give you the year off, but we need you on this. Can you fly out tomorrow morning?”   
Steve sighed, looking at Bucky who was staring at him nervously, hair messy from sleep.   
“I’ll be there” he said, ending the call. “Buck...” he started. Bucky tried to put on a encouraging smile grabbing his hand “Hey, it’s okay this is your job, go save people.”   
“At least we have Christmas morning together. We’re gonna have to leave around noon so I can get back and pack. God Buck I’m so sorry.” He said leaning his head against Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky bit back the tears that wanted to form, willing himself to suck it up until Steve had left, hand coming up to run his fingers through Steve’s hair. “Don’t be. This is what you love to do, save people, help them, you do what’s right.” 

Downstairs a spread of french toast, eggs, and bacon was spread on the large kitchen island. Sara looked up at them as they walked into the kitchen. Dropping her spatula she walked up to Steve, “what’s going on?” she said at the look on his face. “I have to deploy tomorrow, gotta mission.” Sara nodded frowning, she took Steve in to her arms “Well at least we’ll have you for today. Merry Christmas baby”. Steve smiled, missing her on the cheek as she released him, and walked over to the coffee grabbing two mugs . Sara turned her attention to Bucky “I was going to anyway, but before you go I’m going to put my number in your phone. You’re family now, and it is okay to not be okay during the first deployment. You call me? We can meet in the middle for lunch.” She said with a reassuring smile, patting Bucky’s cheek, “Thank you” Bucky said with a small smile. “Now go eat, you’re too skinny and need some meat on your bones.” She said playfully shoving him toward the food.

The morning passed by too quickly; a haze of food and laughter, presents and hugs goodbye. Bucky left the Roger’s home with every family members cell number, and already had a group text going with the twins. As a person who had barely any contact with his family since he came out at 17 and left for the army at 18 the overwhelming sense of love that had been washed over him left him feeling slightly hung over in the best possible way. The drive was quiet as they trekked back through the little farm towns. Bucky looked out the window, picking his cuticles until they started to bleed. When Steve noticed he pulled the jeep off the road. Bucky glanced up at him in confusion at the sudden stop. 

Steve unbuckled his seat belt and walked behind the jeep to Bucky’s side, opening the door he reached over Bucky, whose eyes brows were furrowed in confusion, and clicked his seat belt drawing it over him. In one swoop he gathered Bucky out of his seat and into his arms, burying him in an almost rib crushing hug. The sound that ripped through Bucky broke his heart.   
“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry” Bucky chanted into Steve’s chest.   
“Shhhh, we have a rule about that.” Steve murmured.   
“I’ve never done this, I’ve never said good bye to the person I loved. I’m not a strong person, and you need a strong person.” Bucky let out another gut wrenching sob.  
“How about this....I be the strong one and you be the one who cares so much it hurts? I’ll come home, I’ll be strong for you, I just need you to care about me until I’m back.” Steve answered blinking quickly as his eyes prickled with tears.   
“I can do that. I’ll never stop caring for you Steve, not ever. ” Bucky murmured.   
Steve smiled. They stayed like that for a while, people driving by wondering about the two men on the side of the rode wrapped around each other.   
***  
Over the course of the next 3 months Bucky paced a lot, he worked out so much he had to buy new clothes, and his mind was in over drive constantly. He talked with Steve about once a week and he relished in the 30 minutes of hearing his deep voice, a soothing blanket for his rough exposed nerves. Steve’s voice sounded rough and tired. He wasn’t allowed to tell him anything so they talked about what they would do when Steve got home. Bucky upped his dirty talk game, savoring the way Steve’s releases sounded over the phone; imagining what he would look like getting off wearing his uniform. 

Natasha kept him busy, filling up his work schedule so that for 8 hours a day he focused on applying his art. She forced him to turn off the shop’s TV as he had become obsessed with the news, and badgered him to go out dancing with her every Friday so that the booming music and touch of alcohol could help him escape his brain for a few hours a week. 

Life continued without Steve for 3 solid months. Bucky’s apartment felt empty without the broad man filling up the space. He ached to be held, to touch the man’s face, to simply be with him again. He ached to have Steve back as soon as possible, at least he did until he got the call. A missile strike outside of Syria at midnight, Steve’s team heavily involved, Steve unresponsive, Steve resuscitated, Steve on his way back to New York with internal injuries fixed only to the degree of field medicine. 

Bucky sat on the floor of his apartment holding the phone, the line dead after Barton had hung up telling him when Steve would arrive at the hospital. Bucky moving in slow motion, pulling on jeans and a shirt, texting Tash, calling Sara, running out of his apartment. Bucky not realizing he was sobbing as he ran until his shirt was damp and he was out of breath. Bucky not knowing if he would ever hear Steve’s laugh again, to see those blue eyes lock on his, to hold him and feel his warmth. Bucky not knowing if Steve would live, and how could he live without Steve?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..... please don’t throw things.
> 
> As always kudos, (constructive) critisim, and comments are always welcome.


	9. Dammit Tony Stark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hospitals suck.

Day 1:  
For the next ten years of Bucky’s life the smell of a hospital would make him physically ill. Pacing up and down the long corridors, watching the hands of the clock, refusing to eat, getting yelled at by Sara who sternly pushed him into a chair and shoved a sandwich in his hands with a bottle of water, then pacing again was how Bucky spent the next twelve hours of his life. 

Twelve hours to fix what a bomb had ripped apart. The main concern, one of the nurses explained, was the internal injuries, lacs to his spleen and stomach caused massive hemorrhaging that was generally contained in the field, but were delicate fixes for a surgeon. The other concern was his right leg, how far up the amputation would begin had yet to be decided. Bucky had already emailed Stark, who apparently had a soft spot for blown up soldiers, and was waiting for the all clear to come and visit Steve to fit him for the Stark-Tech prosthetic. 

Day 2:  
At one o’clock in the morning Steve was deemed as “stable” after being wheeled out of surgery and into the ICU, the Rodger’s family had gone back first. Bucky shook his head when they held their hands out to them, knowing he would be staying the night so they could go to a hotel. He wanted to go back alone because he would be a complete mess when he saw the damage, he didn’t want them to see him as a mess, wanting instead for them to see a strong man, ready to do whatever needed to be done. Eyes rimmed red, they came back an hour later, Steve was in a drug induced coma to give his body time to heal. Touching Bucky’s face then gathering him in a hug, “Call if anything changes. They said he should be okay, they were just going to monitor his acidity levels. We’re gonna be in the hotel across the way, we’ll be back in the morning. We love you.” Sara murmured tiredly in his ear, giving him a final squeeze.

For being a giant Steve’s bed dwarfed him. Bucky listened as the nurses explained about what the next steps were for Steve. How he would be taken out of the coma in 72 hours, the signs of organ failure vs white blood counts, the signs of survival. Bucky nodded numbly, staring at Steve the whole time. After they left he sat in a chair and laying his forehead on the mattress Bucky sobbed out every bit of emotion he had balled in his throat since he arrived at the hospital, touching the patches of skin that weren’t wrapped in gauze. Bucky fell asleep with his left hand draped over Steve’s, his right tucked between his cheek and the mattress. 

Day 4:  
The tube was out at the end of day 3, the sedatives would take some time to wear off. Bucky talked to Steve constantly, watching his eyes move behind his lids; he liked to think that Steve could hear him. He told him about the drama between Tasha and that Barton guy who had come to check in on Steve. Apparently they don’t get along but now they were going to a gun range to solve a bet. Bucky talked until his throat was raw about every useless thing he could think of. 

When Steve finally opened his eyes it was a look Bucky personally recognized as shear disorientation. Gripping the sheets in a panic wildly searching the room, trying to sit up while five nurses pushed him back on to the bed. Bucky briefly weighed his options of possibly getting kicked out of the ICU as he pushed past the nurse at the end of the bed to put himself in Steve’s field of vision. Instantly Steve’s eyes clung to Bucky’s, tears welling at the confusion. Bucky smiled “I’m here Steve, baby doll lay down and let these nice people do their job and quit causing a fuss,” he said in an easy tone. Steve closed his eyes and forced himself to lay back. “What...” his voice was raw, “what happened?” Bucky sat next to him, leaning his hip on the edge of the bed staying clear of the wires; gripping his hand, “you were in a building that was hit by an air strike.” Bucky said deciding it was best to rip the band aid. “How bad?” Steve asked, eyes boring into his. “You had massive internal bleeding, lacs on your spleen and stomach, you lost a lot of blood, you have over one hundred and fifty stitches in your abdomen along with a fair amount of staples, multiple on the back of your head to mend a skull fracture, and they had to amputate from the knee down on your right leg.” Steve’s monitor alarm squealed as his heart rate jumped, the nurses flinched into action, Bucky tightened his grip “Hey! None of that, look at me Steve, look at me!” He took hold of Steve’s chin “You are alive, you are alive and we all thought you were dead. You can survive without a leg, but we can’t survive without you. Take a breath and we’ll call Stark. He emailed me back yesterday. He’s gonna come and pay a visit. Now breath while these poor nurses go grab you some of that shitty hospital jello people always brag about.” Bucky ended.  
“Buck, I can’t....” Steve said voice strained to the point of breaking, eyes desperate for this to just be a bad dream. Bucky leaned in kissing Steve’s chapped lips lightly, relishing in the fact that he was still alive, pulling back he sighed “Its my turn to be the strong one. You do what you have to do, but I promise you can and you will.”  
“It hurts” Steve said weakly.  
“Here press this button and enjoy the drugs, I have to step out to make a few calls then I’ll be back.”  
“You’ll be here when I wake up?” Steve asked, eyes already closing. “I’m not going anywhere doll, just gonna make a quick call to your family, they’ll be here when you wake up too.”  
“Love you Buck” Steve mumbled.  
“Love you too Stevie” Bucky kissed his forehead gently and went to call Sara.

Day 14  
“God dammit Stark, fuck you.” Steve spit out. Tony merely quirked an eye brow while continuing to examine Steve’s leg. “Calm down there cupcake, I didn’t say we weren’t able to do it, what I said is we can’t do it this second. We have to give your nerves time to regenerate with the stem cells. Unless you would rather me tack on a peg leg? I think I saw some wood on the side of the road on my way here.” Steve rolled his eyes huffing out a breath. “I’ll come check on your progress in two weeks, you’re going home tonight right?” Steve nodded. “Here’s my card it has my personal cell on the back, don’t hesitate to call if you need someone to cuss at.” Turning to Bucky and Sara he shook their hands “Just make sure your boy toy takes it easy on that area, it was a pleasure meeting you madame.”  
Sara frowned at Steve. “For being someone who almost died you’re being a bit of a dick. I’m gonna call your Dad and sisters to update them, try not to chew anyone else out while I’m gone?” She said as she walked out of the room, the door sliding shut behind her.  
Steve frowned turning his eyes to Bucky “Gonna yell at me too doll face?” Bucky asked, plopping down on a chair with a bag of cheetos.  
Steve gave him a half smile “not if you share your cheetos I won’t,” Steve answered. Bucky squinted at him “you’re lucky I love you,” he said, holding out the bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See! He didn’t die! People asked for conflict, that’s about as much conflict as I could handle. Poor Steve. Bucky is a sassy bitch and I love him. Comments/reactions, kudos, and (constructive) criticism is always welcome!


	10. Elevator Salutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the good part y’all. New technology, extreme smut, dirty talk, and cannolis. All my favorite things.

“Stark knows his stuff” Steve said staring at the gun metal gray section of his leg, flexing and pointing his toes on the hospital bed. He’s in awe that this day finally came, two months after his accident Stark deemed his nerves ready. “Wanna know the fun part?” Bucky smirked standing next to the bed, “What?” Steve commented absentmindedly, yelping “HEY!” when Bucky tickled his fingers along the arch of the foot. Smiling a ridiculous grin Steve could have cried, “I felt that.”  
“That’s kinda the point cupcake” Stark replied as he walked into the room, the door automatically sliding shut behind him. “How does it feel?” he asked, poking at the tablet he had in his hands.  
Steve beamed broadly “Amazing.” “Good, ready to take a few steps?” Steve looked down at the foot again, biting his lip, Bucky touched shoulder “It’ll be weird at first, took me a month before I could figure out how to write without breaking the pencil, but you gotta at least try.” Steve glanced up peering through his eye lashes “I’m not using the cane.” As Bucky scoffed, Tony let out a cough that oddly sounded like the word “Stubborn”.  
His steps were wobbly, Bucky felt like a parent walking behind a toddler; arms out stretched ready for him to fall. After the tenth step Steve pivoted so fast he partially fell over, Bucky caught him in his arms and looked down at his face, tears were leaking from the corners of his eyes as his smile broadened. Bucky lowered his mouth to Steve’s capturing the smile with his lips, grinning also.  
“Well safe to say you no longer need my particular services” Stark proclaimed loudly. Righting Steve to standing again, Bucky looked at Stark holding out his hand to shake the shorter man’s “Thanks Tony, seriously.” Tony gave a half smirk “Just let me know if any of your other friends get themselves blown up. Steve, you still need to attend your physical therapy sessions, they’ll be twice a week on the floor above us with Dr. Banner. He’ll clear you when you’ve gained your balance back to full function. I suggest practicing. If you have any weird feelings/sensations or pain call me. You know how to reach me, and don’t bang on my table, Pepper would kill me.” He said winking at them both and walking out.  
Bucky turned to Steve pushing him back to the table, kissing him as hard as he could. Moaning and gripping Bucky’s hips tightly Steve melted into the kiss, instantly letting Bucky’s tongue slip against his own, running his metal foot up the back of Bucky’s calf. Moaning and pulling back Bucky grabbed Steve’s face in his hands, pupils blown and face flushed “Not to ruin a moment, because I am so proud of you right now, but I really want to go home so you can fuck me silly.” Steve stood up quickly, catching hold of Bucky’s arm as he wobbled, “Fuck yes” Steve hissed. 

Driving home Bucky nearly came in his pants three different times. Hands wondering, Steve switched between palming Bucky’s erection through his pants, biting and sucking his neck, and tugging his nipples through his shirt. Finally, they pulled into Steve’s parking space. Attacking each other over the gear shift, again their lips collided. Bucky swiped his tongue on Steve’s plump bottom lip, nipping and sucking. Raking his fingernails on the inside of Bucky’s thigh, he increased his pace as the other man moaned in his mouth. Steve pouted in disappointment when Bucky pulled back, breaking their kiss. Both men looked down at their erections laughing and rearrange them to be less obvious as they got out of the Jeep. 

Bucky wanted to scoop Steve up and carry him through the lobby, they hadn’t been together since Christmas eve and Bucky was so horny it hurt. Seeing Steve smiling, thriving, and no longer wrapped in gauze and staples gave Bucky the ability to feel emotions other than just anxiety and stress. Steve leaned into Bucky as they crossed the lobby, Bucky’s metal fingers slipping under his shirt grazing his lower back, causing Steve to bite his lip in frustration. Getting into the elevator Steve propped himself against the back wall, casually as everyone filed in. Bucky leaned against the adjacent wall, staring at Steve and biting his lip. He could feel his cock throbbing, tucked up into his pants. Steve smiled and nodded as people recognized him, thanking him for his service. The doors closed and the tension between the two rose ten fold. People were shifting, talking to each other seemingly without notice of the two flushed men. Making eye contact with Bucky, Steve gave him a cocky smirk eyeing him up and down through his thick eye lashes. Bucky leaned his head back against the elevator wall looking up at the ceiling and exhaling a huff seemingly in impatience, exposing his throat to Steve. Fighting back a growl Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath. On the 9th floor, the last person to get off walked out; a familiar girl in bright shorts, a tank top, and chucks turned and saluted them both, giving them a wink she turned to walk away as the doors closed. Bucky and Steve were still laughing as the doors opened for the 10th.

The next minute was a world wind of stripping and walking awkwardly to the master bedroom. Bucky, having a mixture of impatience and care as they nearly tripped over different items in the room (he vowed to make fun of Steve for breaking his own lamp later), laughed as they both fell on to the bed, tumbling onto each other. Kissing down Bucky’s jaw Steve gently nipped as his neck kissing the tender skin after each bite. With every bite Bucky’s hips would rise into the air, his hard cock hitting his stomach obscenely, aching to the touched. “Stevie” he whined, eyes closing as Steve lapped his tongue along his clavicle. “What baby?” Steve asked mischievously, sinking his flesh into the newly formed pecs that Bucky didn’t have before he deployed. “Want you...” Bucky moaned. “Want me to what babe? Want me to suck these perfect tits you have now? You got so thick Bucky, waiting for me. I want to cum all over these tits baby. Do you want that.” Bucky’s mouth opened to release a wordless reply as Steve clamped on his nipple and sucked. Steve smiled and continued his venture downward, biting the hip bones that protruded and sucking the lines of the newly formed V that led to Bucky’s cock. Biting hard he sucked a mark on the sensitive area by his hip, gasping Bucky’s hands flew into Steve’s hair, tugging and clenching. Steve laughed “So needy for me baby, did you miss me? Did you miss me sucking this gorgeous cock?” he asked ending his question by sinking his mouth all the way down on Bucky’s cock. Bucky practically jumped off the bed, as the loud moan ripped through him. “Baby I won’t last, it’s been so long, I can’t I can’t I can’t” he chanted as Steve sucked him mercilessly, eyes squeezing shut in concentration to not cum right then and there. Steve popped off right as Bucky’s balls began to tighten for his release, Bucky whined in frustration, “Fucccccck.” “I gladly will baby, but you gotta turn over so I can prep that gorgeous hole of yours.” Steve said lightly patting his thigh “And don’t your dare rub your cock on the bed, you’re not cumming without my cock in you.” Steve said firmly, grabbing the lube from the night stand. When Bucky turned Steve instantly spread his cheeks with his hands, lowering his mouth, lapping his tongue from the base of Bucky’s balls to his hole repeatedly. Shivers racked up and down Bucky’s spine, he slowly slipped his finger in, fucking into the hole at a pace apparently meant to drive Bucky crazy. “Ready for another one baby?” Steve asked teasingly, knowing Bucky was aching. Bucky frowned and wiggled his ass, yelping when Steve’s hand firmly slapped his left cheek. “Has it been that long that you forgot our rules?” He asked in mock shock. “Yes sir, so so long. Need you, please sir, Stevie, fuck please please please”. A second finger eased in with the first, Bucky releasing a sigh of relief “Remember what I said the first time we met? How I wanted to keep you on the edge so long? How badly I wanted to bring you to the point of breaking? Show me you can do this Buck. Because I’m gonna take this real slow.” He ended, curling his fingers and hitting Bucky’s prostate, then fucking into him slowly avoiding the spot completely. Repeatedly with every tenth stroke he hit the spot making Bucky whine and jerk. The tension building in his stomach with every stroke would flair as he pressed that spot, then would fade out as he continued fucking into him at a brutally slow pace. Tears began leaking out of Bucky’s eyes, becoming silent at the onslaught of pleasure as Steve finally added another finger. “Good boy baby, God you’re so good. Crying for my dick sweet heart?” Steve murmured, pulling out his fingers and biting Bucky’s cheek loving how plump it had become from his hard work while Steve was gone. Pulling his hips up so Bucky’s head, shoulders and knees were on the mattress but his ass was up and ready. “You’re so beautiful Bucky, so fucking gorgeous,” he said as he lined up his cock with Bucky’s hole, slowly slipping in. The pace continued to be brutally slow, Steve relished in ever stroke that he got to fill Bucky. Promised that he would take the sounds coming out of Bucky’s mouth to the grave with him. Bucky’s eyes leaked with every stroke while Steve was on his knees fucking into him until his balls were firmly pressed against Bucky’s, then drawing out and pushing in again, sliding along Bucky’s prostate every time, torturously slow. Bucky sobbed Steve’s name as his release finally gave in to the pace and began to build. “I love you so much James Buchanan Barnes” Steve said, watching Bucky’s pupils go impossibly dark when he reached around and stroked Bucky’s cock, as his own release built. “Cum for me Bucky, come for me so hard.” Bucky’s vision whited out as his release exploded through him, pouring himself into Steve’s hand, Steve called Bucky’s name one more time as his own release wrecked through him, sighing as he knew he was finally home again.  
*****  
Steve made the decision that they had to celebrate his graduation from physical therapy. The restaurant he picked was swanky, Bucky felt awkward in his dark skinny jeans and sports coat as they walked toward their table. Steve smiled and brushed his hand down his back. “Do you not realize that you look like a model?” Steve asked biting his lip while looking Bucky up and down. Scoffing Bucky shrugged “Shut up I look like I don’t belong here.” “Sure Buck, that’s why all the women and some of the men are watching your ass while you walk by.” Steve laughed as they sat down and Bucky looked around wildly. Steve took Bucky’s hand across the table and brushed his thumb over his metal knuckles fondly, not giving a care in the world at who watched. As they ate food they didn’t even know how to pronounce, Bucky filled Steve in on the latest development of Barton and Tasha’s relationship. “Woah woah woah, Barton seriously let her pierce his nipples?!” Steve laughed, nearly crying on his steak. “Right?! But you don’t know! I suck at secrets so you can’t tell him you know!” Bucky followed up. “Oh no it’s fine, I just might mistakenly flick him on the nipple next time I see him.” Steve said nonchalantly, making Bucky roll his eyes, “yeah because that’s not obvious at all.” Dessert was ordered, and four giant cannoli’s covered in powdered sugar and chocolate were set on the table, Steve laughed as Bucky’s eyes went wide “Jesus Steve you trying to fatten me up?” He asked jokingly. “Maybe I am, if we’re gonna get married it’s only right that I feed you the most delicious of foods.” Buck laughed “I don’t know if that’s the MOST delicious.... wait.. what?” he stuttered, eyes wide as Steve moved out of his chair kneeling at his side, and taking his hand. “Buck,” he said softly “I knew I couldn’t live without you from the moment I met you, the past year as only proved that. You’re the strongest man I know, I love watching you dance and making you laugh. You saved me when I couldn’t save myself and I can’t do this life without knowing you’re in it with me forever, so James Buchanan Barnes, will you do me the great honor of marrying me?” Steve finished as a he pulled out a black thick-banned ring. Bucky nodded silently, blinking furiously as his tears streamed. Grabbing Steve’s chin “Yes sir, I most certainly will.” He answered, leaning down pressing his lips to Steve’s, smiling. The restaurant erupted in cheers as Steve stood bringing Bucky with him, dipping him low and kissing him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue to come, don’t leave me yet! Kudos, comments, and (constructive) critisms are always welcome!!!


	11. Arbors and Late Arrivals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ending we’ve all be waiting for.

The scent of wisteria filled the small chapel. Purple bundles of buds were placed in groups artfully hanging from the end of the benches that were set up in 15 neat rows, the tall A lined rafters, and around the dark oak arbor set at the end of the isle. Bucky stared in wonder at the arbor that Steve’s dad had built, the wood work so intricate and delicate now wrapped in the flowers Steve’s sisters picked out and a white silk clothe woven through the rungs and draped dramatically. He ran his hands along the wood smiling at how much care and dedication was put into it. Hearing the door chapel door open, Bucky turned smiling as Steve walked in. “Well look at you hot stuff. Finally got you all to myself.” Bucky said as Steve walked up the isle after shooing the guests to the reception, looking dashing in his black on black tux. Bucky whistled when Steve did a dramatic turn. “You’re not so bad yourself doll.” Steve said eyeing Bucky in his matching tux and walking up the stairs to the arbor. “Between your sisters and Tasha, I think our wedding was fit for kings.” Bucky said. “And kings we are, love.” Steve smiled. They both sighed in unison, laughing Steve pulled Bucky in for a searing kiss “I know we need to head to the reception, but I don’t want to leave. This is just surreal. We’re married.” Bucky let out a breath, leaning his forehead against Steve’s. “Tasha will kill us if we’re late.” Steve said, nuzzling his nose into his neck, sending shivers down Bucky’s spine. “She will. She would definitely kill us. We should probably do the responsible thing and leave right this second.” Bucky said as he slid his hands up Steve’s waist, untucking his shirt and sliding his hands along his hips. “Definitely.” Steve affirmed bringing his lips crashing into Bucky’s as he gripped his ass. “There’s a couch in the bridal suite,” Bucky mumbled against Steve’s lips. “Fuck yes.” Steve smiled back, taking Bucky’s hand they ran to the back of the church.   
***  
“I’m going to kill them.” Natasha said through clenched teeth, as Steve and Bucky, hair disheveled and grinning madly, made their entrance into the reception. Clint snorted next to her “I wonder if they banged right on the chapel floor? We should check them for carpet burns.” He knew the elbow in the ribs was coming, catching it he leaned over kissing Tasha’s cheek. “But look how happy they are.” He smiled as the couple went into their first dance together, Steve holding Bucky tightly against him as they swayed back and forth. “Well who isn’t happy after an orgasm?” Natasha scoffed, tossing a coconut shrimp into her mouth.

The reception continued late in to the night, Bucky and Steve both drinking and laughing as they performed ridiculous dance moves. Sensuous songs came on that made the older crowd blush, as Bucky rocked his hips and Steve held him close. Everyone cheered when “The Wobble” came on and Steve’s dad went full force into it, claiming after that it was totally worth throwing out his hip as he downed a shot of Jack Daniels. By the time the night came to a close, tiny children were sprawled on chairs or on their mother’s laps, sleeping soundly. The adults gathered their things and went outside, with sparklers ready to light for the couple to run through as they made their exit. For the final dance, Steve held Bucky close, foreheads resting against each other’s as they rocked to the slow melody. Bucky looked up at Steve, sighing and kissing him deeply as the song came to an end. “Ready to go home?” Steve asked, nipping his bottom lip. “Yes sir, I am.” Bucky said grinning up at him. Taking Bucky’s hand Steve led him to the doors of the reception hall, running through the sparklers and the smiling faces of their closest friends and family, they ran to the rest of their lives together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sobs dramatically into a tissue* Guys, this has been the most fun I’ve ever had. Thanks for sticking with my through my first fic, thank you to everyone who has sent advice and for understanding that’s this whole fic was typed up on my phone due to vacationing these past two weeks. Please follow my works as I plan on churning out a few one shots soon, and I have a few ideas for some more fluff/pwp multiple chapter-fics. If you would be interested in betaing for a person who is hopeless with commas and general formatting, please let me know, or have any requests or ideas for fics you want to throw at me my tumblr handle is:  
> love-ha-ally
> 
> Come find me for all of your Stucky -BDSM- kinky fuckery. And thanks again for the support, y’all are the best! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Literally my first fic I’ve ever written so please be kind! Let me know your thoughts. Not beta’d. *faints into a blob of nerves*


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